Hi lovelies it's Laylaa, and sorry we haven't posted in kind of a while, but school started, and we have been really busy. This is basically some resent struggles I have been though, and how life does get tough for all of us. As most of you know I ahve been dancing for years, and want to become a professional ballerina. But lately my turns have been horrible, and body has been shutting down on me. I have thought long, and hard, and I will continue dancing but I have to be careful. Sometimes the things you love the most end up hurtring you the most. I have also been having family problems. I have tried to hide for almost two years but the anger has come out. I just feel like they aren't there for me. When abuelo died I had to turn to a guy I only knew for six months, because my parents couldn't talk about it. The guy barely knew me, and cared more about me then my own family. The guy was the best no he is the best, I don't know where I would be without him, and I think him for that ( I have an entire blog post about losing a loved one, and here is a link: http://lafashionlife.blogspot.com/2012/08/losing-loved-one-and-how-to-deal.html) School also just started and I'm already lost oh joy. I already know this is going to be a hard year, I need to focus, on dancing and getting back my double turns, and I also need to be ready for when scouts come for summer intensives.
XOX- Spontaneous Us
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Losing a loved one and how to deal
Hi everyone it's Laylaa and I am here to do the blog post I have been saying I was gonna do for the longest time. This is a very emotional post for me and maybe some of you. So I am going to start with the story of how it all happened.
It was Monday March7,2011 I was having an okay day and had a bad feeling about my abuelo, but I thought he was gonna be okay. So I continued my day and got a ride from a friend to school that day, and ride from another friend home that day. So it is 8:04 at night and I am watching pretty little liars so excited when my mom walks in my room and tells me to the lower the T.V., and not to freak out, But I didn't think abuelo was dead, I thought my mom was gonna say he is finally out of the hospital, but instead she said "he's gone", and walks out my room. In that second my entire world had changed, and fallen apart. I was crying and cried myself to sleep, and just couldn't deal with it. So the next day I went to school, and cried when I saw my friends it was heartbreaking everything hurt. So then I went to my first class, and my teacher asked me how he was and I just shook my head and cried. People who I thought were my friends walked into that class, and made me feel better. By the time I was only halfway into school I couldn't deal so I called my mom to take me home. I went home and took a nap hoping I would wake up, and this was all a dream, but at 3:07 I woke up to a text from my friend, but really it was my other friend, and he was her boyfriend. This guy was/is my first love he asked how I was doing, told me he is in a better place, and that I will be with him one day,and he told me if you ever need anything just ask his girlfriend for his number, and to talk to him because his ears were open, and he knew just how it felt, because he lost someone to his dad. I would smile at those text he sent me, because they made me feel so much better, and like someone cared about me, and wanted to be there for me. The next day came, and I didn't go to school, and he texted me again through her phone, and didn't know it was him, until he said it was him, and it made me smile so hard like I hadn't in so long, but then I just started to cry so hard on my bed, and felt like my heart was gonna explode, but little did I know it already did. I went to school the next day,and, walked from the park to school and he was there and we walked together and cried and he was just so nice,and then I put a mask on in front of everyone else but really I wasn't happy. The next week came and it was spring break, and my mom didn't go with us on vacation so I felt all alone, and I asked that girl for his number, and texted him and we texted for so long each day. It got to the point where we asked each other really personal questions. He was my brick wall, and if he left me I would break more than I already was. But soon I became depressed, dancing wouldn't help with my pain, and I lost weight because food didn't interest me anymore. Me, and the guy started getting angry with eachother. I would be called into the counselors office, asked if I was eating, and all this other stuff, soon I was called into the other counselor who is there for when things just start to get really bad in your life. Me and the guy said horrible things to eachother he called me a *****. I told him he just like to play games with me, and he got mad and said you think I'm like that well I'm not I actualled cared about you. You don't know anything about me. He said so many horrible things about me. It got to the point where in class I exploded at him, and everyone else. I was in the office again. I cried so hard that day. I was in the second counselor's office I mentioned, so many times, and when I got called to go there everyone would make fun of me. I got anxiety attacks around those people, and also panic attacks it was really bad. My mom took me to therapy. Sooner I got better, but it still hurts. I still cry. I still think about abuelo. I get mad at abuelo asking why he didn't take care of himself. I just was angry. But now I am happier, but I will always be sad in my life, and he will always be with me. It will always be hard, and I'm not going to tell you to stop cring but one day it will get easier. You will always think about that person just like I think about my abuelo. But I will be honest and say that I still care about that guy, but I know it was wrong what he did. I want to be happy, and I am, but I will always have that sadness in my life because of my abuelo, because when he died a part of me died with him. There is an empty hole in my heart, but before I just wanted to fill that hole up, but now I know nothing ever will fill it up. Abuelo was my rock, and meant almost the entire world to me. I was his princess, his baby, his favorite, he loved so much, and did so much with me, he did anythink I asked him to, like this one time when I wanted McDonald's and he took me to go get it, and we played games with each other, and laughed, he took care of me so much, he is like a second father to me, and no one will ever be able to replace him. I will always love you abuelo, and R.I.P. I will be with you one day again.
I want to say I am a religious person,and if it wasn't for God I wouldn't be happy again. I also know now that God took my abuelo away because he was in pain, and he took my abuelo away with no pain. I also know that God has my abuelo in heaven because my abuelo was a good man, and had so much faith in God. Also because my abuelo had such a great heart, actually the best heart in the world. I also know that my abuelo is making heaven a better place for me and my family.
I wish anyone who has lost someone the best to getting better, and my prayer, thoughts, and love go to you. I love you all. Also I love you Ashley nad I know it was hard for you when your aunt died, and you are my best friend, and you were there for me when abuelo died, and I'll be here for you whenever you need someone to talk to about this.
Also if you feel like you can't talk to your parent, I know how that feels, and youcan talk to me or Ashley.
XOX- Spontaneous Us
It was Monday March7,2011 I was having an okay day and had a bad feeling about my abuelo, but I thought he was gonna be okay. So I continued my day and got a ride from a friend to school that day, and ride from another friend home that day. So it is 8:04 at night and I am watching pretty little liars so excited when my mom walks in my room and tells me to the lower the T.V., and not to freak out, But I didn't think abuelo was dead, I thought my mom was gonna say he is finally out of the hospital, but instead she said "he's gone", and walks out my room. In that second my entire world had changed, and fallen apart. I was crying and cried myself to sleep, and just couldn't deal with it. So the next day I went to school, and cried when I saw my friends it was heartbreaking everything hurt. So then I went to my first class, and my teacher asked me how he was and I just shook my head and cried. People who I thought were my friends walked into that class, and made me feel better. By the time I was only halfway into school I couldn't deal so I called my mom to take me home. I went home and took a nap hoping I would wake up, and this was all a dream, but at 3:07 I woke up to a text from my friend, but really it was my other friend, and he was her boyfriend. This guy was/is my first love he asked how I was doing, told me he is in a better place, and that I will be with him one day,and he told me if you ever need anything just ask his girlfriend for his number, and to talk to him because his ears were open, and he knew just how it felt, because he lost someone to his dad. I would smile at those text he sent me, because they made me feel so much better, and like someone cared about me, and wanted to be there for me. The next day came, and I didn't go to school, and he texted me again through her phone, and didn't know it was him, until he said it was him, and it made me smile so hard like I hadn't in so long, but then I just started to cry so hard on my bed, and felt like my heart was gonna explode, but little did I know it already did. I went to school the next day,and, walked from the park to school and he was there and we walked together and cried and he was just so nice,and then I put a mask on in front of everyone else but really I wasn't happy. The next week came and it was spring break, and my mom didn't go with us on vacation so I felt all alone, and I asked that girl for his number, and texted him and we texted for so long each day. It got to the point where we asked each other really personal questions. He was my brick wall, and if he left me I would break more than I already was. But soon I became depressed, dancing wouldn't help with my pain, and I lost weight because food didn't interest me anymore. Me, and the guy started getting angry with eachother. I would be called into the counselors office, asked if I was eating, and all this other stuff, soon I was called into the other counselor who is there for when things just start to get really bad in your life. Me and the guy said horrible things to eachother he called me a *****. I told him he just like to play games with me, and he got mad and said you think I'm like that well I'm not I actualled cared about you. You don't know anything about me. He said so many horrible things about me. It got to the point where in class I exploded at him, and everyone else. I was in the office again. I cried so hard that day. I was in the second counselor's office I mentioned, so many times, and when I got called to go there everyone would make fun of me. I got anxiety attacks around those people, and also panic attacks it was really bad. My mom took me to therapy. Sooner I got better, but it still hurts. I still cry. I still think about abuelo. I get mad at abuelo asking why he didn't take care of himself. I just was angry. But now I am happier, but I will always be sad in my life, and he will always be with me. It will always be hard, and I'm not going to tell you to stop cring but one day it will get easier. You will always think about that person just like I think about my abuelo. But I will be honest and say that I still care about that guy, but I know it was wrong what he did. I want to be happy, and I am, but I will always have that sadness in my life because of my abuelo, because when he died a part of me died with him. There is an empty hole in my heart, but before I just wanted to fill that hole up, but now I know nothing ever will fill it up. Abuelo was my rock, and meant almost the entire world to me. I was his princess, his baby, his favorite, he loved so much, and did so much with me, he did anythink I asked him to, like this one time when I wanted McDonald's and he took me to go get it, and we played games with each other, and laughed, he took care of me so much, he is like a second father to me, and no one will ever be able to replace him. I will always love you abuelo, and R.I.P. I will be with you one day again.
I want to say I am a religious person,and if it wasn't for God I wouldn't be happy again. I also know now that God took my abuelo away because he was in pain, and he took my abuelo away with no pain. I also know that God has my abuelo in heaven because my abuelo was a good man, and had so much faith in God. Also because my abuelo had such a great heart, actually the best heart in the world. I also know that my abuelo is making heaven a better place for me and my family.
I wish anyone who has lost someone the best to getting better, and my prayer, thoughts, and love go to you. I love you all. Also I love you Ashley nad I know it was hard for you when your aunt died, and you are my best friend, and you were there for me when abuelo died, and I'll be here for you whenever you need someone to talk to about this.
Also if you feel like you can't talk to your parent, I know how that feels, and youcan talk to me or Ashley.
XOX- Spontaneous Us
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
All About Me: Laylaa
Vital
Statistics:
Me: Laylaa
Nicknames: PopoCaca, Cupcake, Honey, Bestie, Lieeeelaaaaa
Birthday: May 8,1998
Place of
Birth: Miami, Florida, YO
Zodiac
Sign: Taurus
Male or
Female: Female
Occupation: Teenage, Daughter, Dancer, High school Student
Residence: Florida/ U.S
Screen Name: Spontaneous Us/ Youtube: laylaaluvsu
Appearance:
Hair
Colour: Brown
Hair Length: Long
Eye colour: Brown
Best Feature: Nose
Height: 5'4
Braces?: Yes got them off almost 2 years ago
Glasses?: Yes unfortunately
Piercing: Ears only 2 but i want another one on my ear, and bellybutton ring
Tattoos: No
Righty or
Lefty: Righty
Your
'Firsts':
First best friend: Jennifer but now and forever Ashley
First Award: Student of the Month
First Sport You Joined: Ballet, and still am for the past 12 years dance is my life
First Real
Vacation: Disney World
First Concert: Taylor Swift what can I say me and Ashley love her
First
Love: Can't say because he goes to my school and he might see this
Favourites:
Movie: Moulin Rouge/Notebook/ Grease/ LOL WITH MILEY CYRUS/ WINNIE THE POOH
TV Show: Pretty Little Liars, Secret Life, Vampire Dairies, Breaking Pointe, Teen Wolf, Degrassi, New Girl, Awkward, Make It Or Break It, and The Lying Game
Colors: Pink, and white, and black
Song: Your song- Elton John, Come what May- Moulin Rouge, Summer lovin- Grease, Reproduction- Grease 2, The Scientist- Coldplay, Fix You- Coldplay, and Started With A Whisper- Neon Trees, and Sparks Fly- Taylor Swift, Tim Mcgraw- Taylor Swift, Teardrops on my Guitar- Taylor Swift, Love Story- Taylor Swift, Blown Away- Carrie Underwood
Candy: Any kind of chocolate
Restaurant: The Melting Pot, Mazza, and Pf Changs
Store: To many to choose
School: Same one for years I've been going there since I was 4 and still am, so I love it
Book: 50 Shades Of Grey
Magazine: Seventeen
Shoes: My Prom Heels ohh the memories, and I wore a Betsey Johnson Dress that was gorgeous
Currently:
Feeling: Happy, and a little Sad
Single or Taken: Single but hope to be taken
Eating: Nope but I will be soon
Typing:This Post
Online: Yes with my bestie Ashley
Listening To: Ashley's reaction on Degrassi LOL it is priceless
Thinking About: My dog, my abuelo, and someone else
Wanting: Chocolate
Watching: Shake It Up
Wearing: My pj bottoms, and my everyone needs a little drama school shirt I am feeling the school spirit before it has even started
Future:
Want Children?: Yep but only one of my own, and then adopt a little Asian girl or boy
Want to be
Married: Yes with Prince Charming
Careers in Mind:Dancer or architect
Where do you want to
live?:College New York, and study abroad while there, then California, then England or, Paris preferable Paris so I could be a dancer for Paris City Opera Ballet, then Spain, then next door to Ashley
Have you
ever:
Kissed a Stranger: Nope never been kissed unless you count cheek
Had Alcohol: Nope to young
Smoked: Nope I saw someone die from it, and it kills you in the end
Ran Away From
Home: Nope I love my house
Broken a bone: No
Got an X-ray:No
Broken Someone's Heart: Yep my mommy's don't want to talk about it
Broke Up With
Someone: No
Cried When Someone
Died: Yep my abuelo, cried for days, cry still
Cried At School: A ton when abuelo died
Do You Believe
In:
God: Yes I wouldn't be anywhere without him, I wouldn't be happy again
Miracles:Yes because God cured my abuelo once and made him last another ten years, and cured my dog
Love At First sight: Yes happened to me, and fell hard, and still am
Ghosts: Yes
Aliens: Yes
Soul
Mates: Yes
Heaven: Yes most definitely because my abuelo is there, and so is Ashley's Aunt
Hell: Yes
Kissing on The First Date: Yeah why not what do you have to lose
Yourself: Sometimes
XOX- Spontaneous Us, and co-blogger Ashley do this
Must Goes: England and Austria!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello lovelies so it is Laylaa, and I know this is long overdue but here are my must goes to Austria and England. I also decided I will make this a series on must goes to different countries, and states, so stay tuned(btw my next post will be the losing a loved one post). So let us get started.
England:
Oxford Street/ Carnaby Street- These are must goes, and they are both located in London, and actually technically speaking Carnaby Street is on Oxford Street, and all you do is make a right turn on Oxford Street, Carnaby Street is a really cute, and quirky place to shop, they have David and Goliath, Liberty's, Monki, Mac Pro, Pixi, Benefit, and a lot more. Then Oxford Street well everyone knows it- it has Hollister, Gilly Hicks(which by the way have hot guys standing outside the door with no shirts on and your just like hubba hubba you know what I mean ladies), Mango, Zara, Topshop, Primark, New Look, Massimo Dutti, River Island, H&M, and so much more. This place is a shopoholics dream.
New Forest- If you like to be a bit more secluded from people then this is the place to go. Here your in touch with nature and it is beautiful. Also nearby is a park where you can see horses run wild, and it is just beautiful.
Bracknell-This is an obvious choice for me because my grandfather lives there, and I really like it. They have a cute park near by, and I absolutely love it. Also it isn't to far from Windsor which brings us to our next.
Windsor- Home to Windsor Castle, cute little parks, gorgeous architectural buildings, cute little shops, a really old school with dorms that remind of Hogwarts I wouldn't be surprised if they shot scenes for the movie here, a church behind the school, and a graveyard on school grounds that you don't even realize is one until you look down, also where the famous Prince William, and Prince Harry(who I have the biggest crush on, I am totally smitten by him, or as mom would say he is floating your boat, trying to be fresh with you, but Prince Harry is not being fresh with me sigh), and more.
Somerset- Basically if you want to drive seven miles to the nearest city Chard which by the way is so boring, then this is the place for you, and I love it because my nana has a cottage there which is gorgeous, and they have some beautiful horses there.
Taunton- Nice town near Somerset with nice shops, and is just really cute, and is only forty minutes away from Somerset.
Lego Land- Fun place for kids, and I remember when I was 6 always wanting to go there, now I'm 14 so I wanted to go to Thorpe Park, but nope didn't go.
Austria:
Vienna Nice tourist attraction, has nice shops, and if you like heat this is the place to go. I personally don't get the hype about it.
Sallingags or something like that- This place that I don't know the name of is in the mountains, and is gorgeous, we stayed in this little inn, and it was amazing the lady treated us like family, also if you drive down the mountain a bit there is a little town that holds festivals, and has amazing donna kabbabs, ans is so cute, and has flawless guys walking around(let me just say my eyes wandered around a lot on this trip).
P.S. In Austria they only speak German so if you plan on going there catch up on your German.
XOX- Spontaneous Us.
England:
Oxford Street/ Carnaby Street- These are must goes, and they are both located in London, and actually technically speaking Carnaby Street is on Oxford Street, and all you do is make a right turn on Oxford Street, Carnaby Street is a really cute, and quirky place to shop, they have David and Goliath, Liberty's, Monki, Mac Pro, Pixi, Benefit, and a lot more. Then Oxford Street well everyone knows it- it has Hollister, Gilly Hicks(which by the way have hot guys standing outside the door with no shirts on and your just like hubba hubba you know what I mean ladies), Mango, Zara, Topshop, Primark, New Look, Massimo Dutti, River Island, H&M, and so much more. This place is a shopoholics dream.
New Forest- If you like to be a bit more secluded from people then this is the place to go. Here your in touch with nature and it is beautiful. Also nearby is a park where you can see horses run wild, and it is just beautiful.
Bracknell-This is an obvious choice for me because my grandfather lives there, and I really like it. They have a cute park near by, and I absolutely love it. Also it isn't to far from Windsor which brings us to our next.
Windsor- Home to Windsor Castle, cute little parks, gorgeous architectural buildings, cute little shops, a really old school with dorms that remind of Hogwarts I wouldn't be surprised if they shot scenes for the movie here, a church behind the school, and a graveyard on school grounds that you don't even realize is one until you look down, also where the famous Prince William, and Prince Harry(who I have the biggest crush on, I am totally smitten by him, or as mom would say he is floating your boat, trying to be fresh with you, but Prince Harry is not being fresh with me sigh), and more.
Somerset- Basically if you want to drive seven miles to the nearest city Chard which by the way is so boring, then this is the place for you, and I love it because my nana has a cottage there which is gorgeous, and they have some beautiful horses there.
Taunton- Nice town near Somerset with nice shops, and is just really cute, and is only forty minutes away from Somerset.
Lego Land- Fun place for kids, and I remember when I was 6 always wanting to go there, now I'm 14 so I wanted to go to Thorpe Park, but nope didn't go.
Austria:
Vienna Nice tourist attraction, has nice shops, and if you like heat this is the place to go. I personally don't get the hype about it.
Sallingags or something like that- This place that I don't know the name of is in the mountains, and is gorgeous, we stayed in this little inn, and it was amazing the lady treated us like family, also if you drive down the mountain a bit there is a little town that holds festivals, and has amazing donna kabbabs, ans is so cute, and has flawless guys walking around(let me just say my eyes wandered around a lot on this trip).
P.S. In Austria they only speak German so if you plan on going there catch up on your German.
XOX- Spontaneous Us.
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